1 Aug 2009
Listening and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
After years of searching for a place to do Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, last year I finally found one—Peninsula Jiu Jitsu in Foster City. From the minute I walked in the door, I was warmly welcomed. And in the first week, it became very clear that this was a place that emphasized a collaborative approach to learning.
From what I hear, in many gyms the new guys just get “pummeled on,†so to speak, until they either get good enough or they leave. But Peninsula is really different. The more experienced guys take a certain pride in showing the new people how things are done. I think this comes straight from Marco, who founded the gym– it’s learning as a group effort.
And so perhaps it’s no surprise that I’ve found my listening skills to be extremely valuable in this type of a learning environment. Here there are very experienced practitioners who are eager to share their knowledge about the sport and who want to see me improve.
Yet there are a number of ways that I could screw this up. One way is simply by not paying enough attention while they are explaining something to me. What I find is that by giving my full attention to a purple belt who is telling me all about how to “pass the guard” I’m showing him respect and I’m also encouraging him to tell me more.
Another way I could screw it up is by being argumentative about what I’m being told. I could be skeptical in terms of what actually works. Instead, I assume that he’s telling me this for a good reason, I assume that it’s worked for him before, and I get very curious to really understand what’s being explained to me. And again this respect has a magical effect in that the senior guys in the gym who like to explain things are willing to help me out time and time again.
Just today I was working with Eric, who was recently promoted to purple belt, and he was doing a fantastic job of teaching me some of the basics. I realized partway through that I was actually using the WIG in interacting with him. He would explain something for a minute or two, and then I’d repeat back to him what I understood about it. And sometimes I was right on the mark, and sometimes he would further refine what I’d said, so that I really understood the core of it.
I have to admit that I’m just thrilled to see that my work on Supportive Listening is showing results in other areas of my life.